Tuesday, May 13, 2008


One of my favorite local news anchors, Sue Simmons, pops off when she forgets to remove her mic as they cut to a commercial. As she does so, she utters the words I often wish I could shout out to many journalists when I am watching TV news. 

"Ethnically-correct" dolls

So this is actually more like "Things I love (hate) right now."

A while back I was chatting w/my goddaughter, who is half White & half Japanese & she made me aware of the American Girl dolls. She was telling me that she wanted Samantha because she "looks like me." I almost began to cry. Then I told her that when I was a girl, I had no dolls that looked like me. Her mom got on the phone & began to tell me about how expensive the dolls are, how little girls are obsessed with them, and how one can order a custom-made model to look like a sinister doppleganger of the girl. Yikes. A flurry of emails ensued between me and several lady friends deconstructing the dolls. Another friend told he she abhors the dolls but her husband spent a fortune on one for their daughter.

This is another American Girl doll that appears to be somewhat Asian. She is part of a series of historical dolls that come with stories. She dates back to SF in the 1970s. Now, if I was doing a 1970s SF doll, miss thing would have a nice Angela Davis Afro and come with a bong & a birth control packet as accessories.

My sister & I had hit a Toys-R-US, a place I rarely visit (though with the recent fertility boom among my friends I see myself as a frequent customer from now on) and I was mesmerized by the BRATZ. Another friend says they look like hookers, clearly problematic, to say the least. And she is right. But at least they are racialized to look Black or Latina. Below is "Yasmin" who looks a bit too much like J-Lo, but props anyway because she looks Latina.  

This is the American Girl that, were I to order a custom-made doppelganger, would be "me" - according to them: medium skin, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Disturbingly, they don't have an Asian girl. 

Many years ago, I was given this Puerto Rican Barbie. I was delighted although disturbed by the light skin and Creole outfit. There are also a series of "Teresa" dolls, including one that comes with a boom box that if you press the button spits out an old school rap. Hey, it's better than the White blonds! Recently a friend told me that Barbie was the macabre brain-child of a (clearly self-hating) Jewish woman! 

Meanwhile, this is the doppleganger of one of my "nieces" - half Puerto Rican/half Canadian. Love her!!!!! 

And, for the Grand Finale, another one of the American Girl "historical" dolls, a (sanitized) runaway slave!!!!!!!! Even I can't go there. 


Given my drag alias - LaShanda - one of my favorite people spotted this restaurant in Brazil and sent me a photo. Fabulous! 

SJP at The Sex Premiere, London

Please note that Philip Treacy attached BUTTERFLIES to the fake rose in this hat! Shandisimo!!!!!!!!!! Is there a means through which one may be disbarred from the International Milliner's Association for this offense? 

The day before yesterday was the Sex & the City premiere in London. First of all, I am already hostile since the show is all about (me, oops I mean) New York. And what did they think, that this is the time before the telephone and internet were invented, so when they ask Londoners to keep the story and the ending on the DL they'll be successful? 

Then there are the outfits. Cynthia Nixon can do no wrong in my eyes. Ever. I saw her on the bus once and she is exquisite. Milky white rosy pink perfect skin (she just turned 40 but zero wrinkles even though I was "consoled" by my female relatives for my tragically dark skin by being told that "las blancas" age poorly since their light skin wrinkles easily), petite, the red hair is amazing on her. Perfect in every way. I almost passed out. Love the Calvin Klein on her. 

But SJP is another matter altogether. Clearly Pat Fields had a (sinister) hand in this one.

And clearly they were trying to "fit in" with the Brits by having her rock those RIDICULOUS "hats" that are inexplicably attached to the side and not the crown of the head, usually by Philip Treacy. In my opinion, the ONLY person who looks good in those hats is my IDOL Isabella Blow (above), but she is dead. So no one.

I have been soliciting comments from my catty friends, and urge those six of you that read this blog to do the same.

Here is some inspiration to get you started:

Jocelyn Wildenstein meets Carmen Miranda. (submitted by my friend AK)

Hat looks like something thrown out by a florists' school in New Jersey. (submitted by J)

Doing her best for the environment by recycling her Mother's day arrangement tethered to an ashtray.

Ditto with the dress - she went to Canal street and recycled a "satin" (polyester) duvet.