Charo on the MDA Telethon 2009

What would this world be without Charo??? She was my childhood idol, and she still my idol now. I remember vividly one of her appearances on the Jerry Lewis Telethon in the late 1970s in which her tube top slid down (think Janet's wardrobe malfunction) mid cuchi-cuchi. But she gracefully pulled it up and kept moving. OLE. Don't miss the Iris Chacon Dancers-worthy choreography behind her, the Gong Show quality set, and the poor woman trying to keep up with her at minute 4.22. It's as if the 1970s never ended. Ailobit!!!

Charo - The Greatest Spanish Entertainer of the 20th Century and Andy Warhol The Greatest Entertainer of the 20th Century

Charo Baeza, fiery flamenco guitarrist, trained with Andres Segovia, was discovered by band leader Xavier Cugat in the 1960s and launched to international stardom in the 1970s thanks to fabulous records featuring her Spanish flamenco guitar meets 1970s disco stylings meets easy listening. She appeared in talk shows, charming Carson et al with her heavy Ejpaneeesh Akzent, big blond hair toss, plunging necklines, and lukewarm casino/stripper/vedette choreographies. Her signature phrase, understandable in any language: CUCHI CUCHI.

My father, whose accent is in fact similar to hers, was convinced that SHE was faking it to charm the Americans. In any event, for me it was a revelation to see a Spaniard, any Spaniard on American TV growing up in here in the late 70s and early 80s. Her fame was cemented thanks to a recurring role as APRIL on The Love Boat. She was a demure secretary suddently thrust into the limelight when, as Julie frantically tried to find a substitute for the shipboard disco's entertainment (this is of course, on those rare episodes where Ethel Merman wasn't a guest), she shed her glasses and Dress for Success garb and scantily clad in sequins shook her big blond mane and her booty. Her guitar-shaped body was featured in one album cover, where, nude, she was perfectly "clothed" by her Spanish guitar, held close to her chest.

In the late 1970s, I was a child visiting New Orleans for Mardi Gras and both my dad and I were super bummed out when Charo had to cancel her appearance in the parade due to a chest cold. Fortunately, she resurfaced on The Surreal Life and the GEICO commercial and you can check out her fabulous website: http://www.charo.com . She is still producing records, by the way.

And I am NOT kidding about Ethel Merman, to wit:



However, possibly the GREATEST moment in the Love Boat's history is the Andy Warhol cameo, which for me had been the Holy Grail of TV watching and thanks to you tube and google, here it is!!!!!

Eva, que hace ese hombre en tu cama?

My fascination with IRIS CHACON - el culo de America - probably began in utero but all I can remember is watching el chou de Iris Chacon as a child. EVERYONE watched this show, entire families sat tranfixed as Iris did modified stripper meets Vegas showgirl moves barely clad, her Puerto Rican Venus of Willendorf physique on show. Iris was escorted by her bevy of polyester clad salsa-dancing Chacon Dancers and she normally rocked a sequined numbers featuring a bra top and g-string, Iris worked her voluptous boricua body. A great book about the phenomenon is "Una Noche con Iris Chacon" and of course thanks to the magic of You Tube (if blogger ever fixes the glitch I can attach video evidence) you can witness her spectacular choreography. I finally saw her - twice - here in NYC at Escuelita, a Latino trannie bar whose performers all quite zaftig and fabulous with names like Natacha all resemble Iris.

Iris is now apparently a vegetarian, and doctor of natural medicine. As my brilliant boricua friend and fellow Chacon devotee asked rhetorically, "I suppose she ate many alcapurrias and piononos made with faux soy meat" - adding " it seems she found the way to reconcile eco/animal-friendliness with the booty-enhancing effects of trans fats! that's what I call cultural negotiation."

On top of this Iris is now apparently Born-Again, which she finds a way to reconcile with her vedette moves onstage and the ever-present g-string. Fabulous!

(here is a link to a bio: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0149415/bio - I should add that there are errors such as the name of her daughter, which is actually KATIRIA, a name surely NOT on the dictator Chavez's list of Approved Bolivarian Revolutionary Names)

Then there's her Nemesis, Olga Breeskin, whom I took to be Argentine and had fantasized that she must now be living in semi-retirement in Buenos Aires, hanging up her g-string to pursue Lacanian psychoanalisis full time. But alas, all I was able to find out is that she is actually Mexican, and that she and Iris co-starred mano a mano in "Eva, que hace ese hombre en la cama" a cheesy 1970s Mexican-Spanish production, a star vehicle for Manolo Escobar (camp crooner beloved during the waning years of Franco's dictatorships, generations of tourists have sung along to his sinister nationalistic ditty "Que Viva Espan~a").

Now that thanks to a(n other Boricua) friend (the cultural Puerto Rican mafia at work) I was able to see "Superstar, the Karen Carpenter Story," (more on that later) this Eva film is now my Holy Grail of Cinematography.

As the photos I found which you see here attest, Almodovar didn't invent anything!!!! Iris is the sultry "redhead" and Olga the one with the black Priscilla Presley bouffant.