Sunday, October 4, 2009

What we've all been waiting for, onesies for adults

I find this jumpin jammerz quite creepy - is it an adult wearing a baby's onesie? is it an adult woman wearing a baby's onesie that is see-through? is she eroticizing baby hood?
personally I would lean towards buying this animal-print model, since as we know leopard is a Puerto Rican NeutralTM

At first I mocked the ubiquitous Snuggie - the blanket with sleeves - thinking: A. why not just get something called a bathrobe? and B. it's probably the cause of many a "I've fallen and I can't get up" accidents. Then I saw them at Walgreen's that wonderland of As Seen on TV merch, and asked to open the box to see the length. Sadly, I'm not called Petite Maoiste for nothing, my tiny height means I cannot participate in the mass experience of Snuggie wearing that is sweeping the USA in 2009.

Tonight I learned about a garment I had actually dreamed about, and wondered why it had not been invented. Perhaps it began when my friends began to breed en masse, as if a collective alarm clock or egg timer went off. Single and not interested in being a mother, I nonetheless enjoyed seeing my friends' happiness and getting to buy adorable miniscule outfits for the infants, particularly the onesies and the little ones that cover the babies' feet. Enclosed from neck to toes must feel quite comforting, I thought.

Now is our chance to indulge in the already pervasive infantilization of adults in this country. And for those really into that type of experience they have one where rear section drops down. They also have sticky feet models so you don't slip and fall after downing a six pack or two watching the football game with your buddies. I particularly love the camouflage pattern as it evokes the indoctrination of children in the use of guns and love of violence in parts of the USA. How appropriate.