Saturday, September 6, 2008

Mr. Blackwell is in a Coma

Mr. Blackwell is in a coma, and we're left on our own just when we need him the most! This is a FASHION SCHANDA of the highest order, a national emergency of bad taste. Cindy McCain is Geriatric Bimbo Barbie, the former Trophy Wife who's lost her bloom. I am fascinated by the pancake makeup, the fried (could it be a weave?) platinum mane which during the convention she decided to leave down her shoulders rather than in those armored up do's that looked more like missiles than buns or pony tails. Also, she has opted for the soft almost over your eyes bangs that some women adopt when trying to conceal furrowed brows. She has a tendency to go for some of the Puerto Rican Neutrals, like gold lame, in the day time. And she shows major cleavage. Perhaps it's her homage to her husband's birth place (which technically makes him unqualified to run for president), by showing off the Panama canal? In this photo, she is holding poor Trig Palin, who was being passed around to seemingly everyone in the convention center. 

But the real crisis is this Pageantry survivor, a terrifying creature who compares herself to a pitbull with lipstick on. Below you see her A. reviewing her Pageantry Wave or B. practicing her Heil Hitler salute. C. both

Like McCain, she decided for the soft, hair down the back look but mixed with the modified bee-hive semi-up do. They dressed her up in a neo-Jackie O suit, probably chosen by McCain. Perhaps McCain will also coach her on accessories, like the rhinestone (? diamond?) USMC - US Marine Corps or something like that pin she wears in honor of her sons' military service. Again, a little bit of a Puerto Rican Neutral touch there for Mrs. McCain. 

The mainstream media is investigating Troopergate and the Bridge to Nowhere, the Enquirer the alleged affair and illegitimate baby (now Trig is supposedly a love child from the affair), and the New York Times her extremist fundamentalist religious beliefs (anti-semite, Pentecostal, Creationist, believes in the Rapture, etc.). Even some in the GOP are saying she might withdraw. But clearly she has no idea what that means or else little Bristol would not be in the mess she's in. Apparently she was Baptized Catholic but then was born-again. Clearly, because if she was a practicing Catholic, she would have taught Bristol about Catholic Birth Control. And I will leave that to your imagination. An Alaska housewife who formerly served on the PTA with her wrote in to a blog that Palin tried to have the town librarian fired because he refused to ban some books she wanted censored. But the New York Times says she takes the Bible literally. So at least we know she reads.


AK said...

Oh, YOU are the replacement Ms. PR Neutral BlackWell! And even better was when saggy face Cindy put a RED jacket on this whole affair--she looked like one real scary Christmas ornament!

Anonymous said...

you just gave me an idea for this Halloween '08's scariest costume.