I Wish My Photos Could Be Published in HOLA!

Photo DIEZ MINUTOS

We all know that my life's ambition is to have my photo appear in HOLA!

Here is but one example of why. Of course, we know that it is the ultimate sign of social prestige (though HOLA! has lowered its standards a bit in recent years, they make a clear division between the spreads featuring the homes of Dolce & Gabbana and the "TV news" section where Belen Esteban and her ilk are shown; then there are the for-pay black and white social pages....I would even settle for the latter), but another reason is that their photos are just well, more flattering. 

Above is a shot from one of my favorite things ever, the royal families' "We are taking a vacation" photo shoots. As if they were anything but on vacation ALL the time. As if this shows them in a spontaneous manner, without protocol, to their "subjects." Yes, much like Marie Antoinnette at the pleasure dairy. 

Here we see the royal princes from Holland. The prince married a zaftig Argentine called Maxima. (note here that my scale of zaftigness is in relation to other female royals, excluding England of course where they are actually normal sized, who tend to be anorexic like Princess Letizia of Spain) It was a schanda because her father was part of the military dictatorship, so they did not invite him to the wedding. He was, however, asked to the baptisms of their myriad children. Note that although she is on the heavy side, he did manage to get an Argentine who looks quite Aryan. I was wondering why it's OK to have a right-wing military man with blood on his hands at a Baptism but not a church wedding? I digress. 

In DIEZ MINUTOS, which is ranked maybe one or two magazines below HOLA! in terms of prestige within Spain, they show the classic photo of the royal family from Holland on their bike. Then you see the HOLA! version of the same photo, below. Better than going home to Argentina for liposuction. 

Photo HOLA!