Pageantry Frankensteins and more?

Miss Jessica Simpson is hosting a new reality TV show called "The Price of Beauty." And she should know. 

But I hope that she visits the the international sites where the evil geniuses that groom Latin American Miss Universe pageant competitors do their work.

Pageants are not about Nature they are about Beauty ("No son de Naturaleza, son de Belleza") says the most famous pageantry coach/groomer/stylist, responsible for many finalists and winners of various pageants and known as the "beauty Zar" and "guru of Latin American beauty."

http://www.aztecaespectaculos.com/nota/revistaventaneando/osmel-sousa-el-zar-de-la-belleza/2009-02-222

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/jessica-simpson-working-on-new-reality-show-2009275

Latest news on dictators' cults of personalities

My loyal reader Narciso Espejo sent me this bulletin straight from the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. A restaurant in Libya has been named after porcine demagogue dictator Hugo Chavez. A sure recipe for lethal indigestion.

For those of you who understand Spanish, here is a sampling of what I imagine might be on the menu:

Salchicha "Vergatario"

Cous Cous estilo "Cadena"* te hara repetir, repetir, y repetir, recomendado acompañado con Pepto Bismol

Falafel "Bolivariano" (bolas tamaño enorme)

Ensalada "Revolucion" - solo lechuga

Cafe "estilo Republica Bolivariana" - sin leche

Cerveza "Cadena"* te hara repetir, repetir, y repetir

miércoles, 27 de mayo del 2009. 5:24:35 PM
Portada

SE INAUGURA EN DAHIE UN RESTAURANT CON EL NOMBRE DE HUGO CHAVEZ

La Embajadora Zoed Karam D. asistió a la inauguración


Un ciudadano libanés decidió dar el nombre de “Hugo Chávez” a un restaurant de comida rápida libanesa inaugurado recientemente en Dahie, área al sur de la ciudad de Beirut que fue una de las más castigadas por los ataques israelíes que se produjeron durante la guerra del verano de 2006, ocasionando grandes pérdidas humanas y materiales.

La decisión de dar el nombre de “Hugo Chávez” al restaurant constituye una nueva muestra de la enorme popularidad de la cual goza en el Líbano nuestro Primer Mandatario Nacional, expresada en esta ocasión mediante el sincero homenaje de un ciudadano común al Presidente Hugo Chávez Frías por las firmes posiciones de apoyo al Líbano y Palestina adoptadas ante los cruentos ataques israelíes contra el Líbano, en julio-agosto de 2006, y contra la población palestina indefensa en la franja de Gaza, en enero de 2009, los cuales dejaron miles de víctimas civiles, entre ellas gran cantidad de mujeres, niños y ancianos.

Anexo se pueden observar algunas fotografías del emotivo acto de inauguración del restaurant “Hugo Chávez”, al cual asistió la Embajadora de la República Bolivariana de Venezuela en el Líbano, Zoed Karam D., otros funcionarios de la Misión Diplomática y numerosos vecinos de Dahie.

Para su apertura el establecimiento se encontraba decorado con pequeñas banderas de Venezuela y afiches que mostraban la foto del Presidente Chávez y consignas de nuestro Jefe de Estado relativas a la lucha por la soberanía de los pueblos oprimidos del mundo contra las pretensiones de las potencias imperialistas. El uniforme de los empleados del restaurante incluye franelas y boínas rojas, a la usanza de la vestimenta que lleva frecuentemente nuestro Primer Mandatario Nacional



Nota de prensa de la Embajada de la República Bolivariana de Venezuela en Líbano.

Rocio Jurado Statue Made of Chocolate

It does not get any better than this! Spanish chanteuse, Rocio Jurado, la Mas Grande, may she rest in peace, is reproduced as a life-size chocolate statue for the second time. The Rocio Jurado Cult of Personality rivals those of Mao or Hugo Chavez. Let's hope that this chocolate monument becomes an annual commemorative event. Someday I will write an article (perhaps in one of those campy academic journals interested in pop culture, where people like me can analyze such popular phenomena experienced by everyday people and suck the life out of them using theoretical jargon). Fun! I love my job. Today's cantaora is tomorrow's historical figure, so don't be too quick to judge, future tenure committee. Let this Model Minority keep it "real." (even though we know there is no such thing as "the real.") 

http://www.hola.com/famosos/200905268555/ortega/cano/chocolate/1/

"Angels in Chains"

While we're on the subject of TV episodes that shaped my youthful subjectivity, here is my favorite Charlie's Angels episode. And a moment of silence for the beautiful, brave, ailing Farrah Fawcett.

Best Love Boat Episode. Ever.

Guest stars in this episode included Halston and Gloria Vanderbilt. A fantastic fashion show starring Elke Sommer was the climax.



Although this once is heavy competition: the one where dowdy secretary April Lopez lets her hair down as the spectacular singer/dancer re-interpreting The Love Boat Theme as a sexy Latin Disco number. OLE!



Both of these shows had a deep impact on my youthfully susceptible subjectivity.

More on the Confused Miss Panama Contestant

The Miss Panama Contestant who has earned fame due to her confused reply to the question
"Who is Confucius?," "The founder of confusion." has spread like wildfire on the internet and television news media.

I posted about her here myself. Now I find out that she has her own Wikipedia entry and I noticed her name:
Giosue Cozzarelli

Again, Latin American beauty pageant contestants do not disappoint. From the grooming, to the evening gowns, to the national costumes, they excel. But it is in their names that they truly go above and beyond creativity and sheer phonetic poetry. GIOSUE. Is her mother called GIovanna Susana? Did someone in the family go to the USA and get the nickname Sue? We will never know.

But I have recently discussed with other latino friends our practice of composite naming. For example, all of the children's names are varied blends of the mother and father's names. Gilberto and Yasmin. Gilamin, Yasibelle, Yamil, Bertamin, etc. Fabulous.

http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giosue_Cozzarelli

Brazilian models

I am delighted to know that authorities in Brazil are going after the fashion industry for their thinly-veiled racism. Many have written about the travesty of the Italian VOGUE all black issue that included few ads featuring women of color, while others have commented to the ridiculous statistics including European-descent, Caucasian-looking Brazilians like Gisele or Spaniards like Eugenia Silva as "women of color" to add to meagre numbers. And this is of course further complicated by the fact that we can't guess what someone's ethnicity in many cases, so this isn't so simple. But the situation as it is now doesn't seem too subtle- most of the models conform to widely-held ideas about beauty modeled on features understood to be "white." I cannot count the number of conversations I have had with friends of varied backgrounds where we laugh about the mis-identifications others make when trying to guess where we are from. I get many nationalities spanning the Americas, Asia, the Middle East, and Mediterranean Europe! But sadly no one has ever asked me if I am a model.

Deal in Brazil fashion race row
By Gary Duffy,
BBC News, Sao Paulo
Brazilian prosecutors and organisers of Sao Paulo Fashion Week have reached a deal over claims that too few black and mixed-race models are taking part.

Under its terms, fashion brands must ensure that 10% of the models are of African or Indigenous descent.

Last year, an investigation concluded eight of 344 the models taking part in the event were black - just 2.3%.

If the organisers fail to meet the new target they could face the prospect of being fined more than $120,000

Sao Paulo Fashion Week, being held in June, attracts worldwide attention.

But when the Brazilian newspaper, Folha de Sao Paulo, drew attention to the fact that few black models were used, the legal authority responsible for looking after the public interest opened an investigation.

Easier to work abroad

Brazil has more people of African descent than anywhere outside Africa itself.

Almost half of the population is said to be black or of mixed race.

But black Brazilian models say it has often been easier to get work abroad than in their own country.

It is a sensitive time for the issue of racial quotas in Brazil.

While there has been little visible sign of tension over race, people of African heritage make up the poorest section of society.

An attempt to create a national law to establish quotas to address this inequality has once again been delayed in the Brazilian Congress, because of a failure to reach a consensus.

Some legislators are arguing that the best way to tackle inequality would be to use social rather than racial criteria in setting targets.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/americas/8063239.stm

Published: 2009/05/22 11:36:20 GMT

© BBC MMIX